(I knew we could not be more, but I never wanted us to end)
My name is LUCKY and the story you about to read thrilled and tormented me emotionally
So here we go.
I first met her (ADA) through a mutual friend who happens to be really close to her (she was against us being together for obvious reasons), at a hospital four years AGO, this was a year after I started dating my present girlfriend then again, I really never took notice of her. We then met again on her birthday, this time around she knocked me of my feet (I’m not even playing with you) she wowed me with her voice and her carriage and offered to be her company for the rest of the night being that it was her birthday and had no male company she accepted, we had ‘chilled’ fun. The night was over sooner but I asked see her again so we exchanged numbers. We both just graduated from school recently at the time, I was waiting for a job while she was waiting to serve so we had lots of free time at hand that allowed us hang and see very often. Getting used to her was easy considering we spent almost every day together and i really began to like her. She ran my daily errands with me and I ran hers with her, we basically planned our days in sync. She was spontaneous, outspoken, bold, sexy (AF) and most of all she was badass with her train of taught challenges me generally, it sure was awesome and I fell madly for her.
I had sexual intents towards her so of course I made sexual moves but I got a vibe that she had a reason not to let it happen but I refused to over think it despite the consciousness that she was aware I was in a relationship. Deep down I knew if she had not consented to my sexual advances I still would have stocked around (I guess) because I found her that amazing, but we did share hot kisses and caresses. Everybody in town knew her with me and thought we were dating they did not even know my girlfriend (it was understandable considering she was not staying in town).
The night before she left for service she initiated sex in the car, her friend and my friend were right outside and we had a mind-blowing sex for the first time although my car screens were tinted at the time. The next day she left for service and feeling never changed, nothing changed, we kept talking while she was in camp and when she got out we hung out at every chance we had, and trust me we made a lot of time for us and feeling grew
But the third month into whatever it was we had, we started having heated disagreement which I still do believe it was 80% her fault, of course we always settled and feelings never left it only grew more actually but the quarrels were unending. Basically I think the quarrel was because she started to feel jealous about my relationship which I was actively working on settling in, although she never spelt out rightly that she felt insecure but mentioned not wanting what we had to ruin my relationship and asked that I stayed away from her, this was the case up until 6month when I got a contract job in another state that was to last for a year. As soon as she knew about it she acted like I was relocating forever and assumed we could never work.
Now this is where things started to go sideways cause a was mad into her and I think is safe to say I loved her already at this point and I told her that I loved her but she never said it back I however knew she felt the same way for me or at least felt something close to what I felt.
But I assured her I was going to make it work, because I was that into her and I would make sure we see as often as possible but she was not buying all I was saying obviously. We had a mind-blowing sex as usual (sex with her was the best) the night before I left. While away we kept talking but it was not as great she obviously was not into distance one bit for this reason I could say she was distant at heart.
Less than a month later I came back to town to pick my car and I could tell she was not interested in seeing me so I left without seeing her. We still kept talking on phone until I returned back to town again. We agreed to see and makeup both emotionally and physically which we did and it seemed to be going fine until she had a little too much to drink. Meanwhile I got into trouble at work for not returning as I was scheduled to but I tried not to worry about it cause I really wanted to be with her and she being tipsy turned me on greatly we had brief sex and in her state she said words that hurt basically translated to she did not want me anymore, funny part was she was throwing up and I was still super turned on but she was completely not horny anymore which never really happened all the times we were together and just before we slept she said more hurtful stuff like how she had a new boyfriend and how he was a better sex partner. I was upset about her actions because I knew sacrifices I had to make to make seeing her happen. We were at it up until 2am and I had a road trip to make the next day that was to last 9hrs and I was to drive. But I let it go.
We kept talking on phone and eventually she mentioned her new relationship again and how they had dated before but this time they had become serious. Now this felt suspicious and deliberate could it be that I was so invested in my hurt that I did not notice that she had any hurt and concluded that I never really mattered from the start, usually talking about my pain helps me get over hurt but, in this case, it was not helping so we had a huge fight. After a bit we decided to talk about it and see if we could reach a resolve but this time we tried chatting. She did make effort to make it right but I was being difficult and it exploded in my face and she put an end to us. That was when I saw the month I had left being away from her flash before my eyes and how much hurt I would go through without her. And I also played my time I had with her in my mind and I contemplated if it was her just playing with my emotions all along cause she never really talked about her past relationship with me. I refused to reach her anymore she did try reaching me but I ignored knowing that her reaching me was not for us to make up.
I erased her from my physical memory and I never do this with anyone even thought her leaving broke me.
(The silent did not last forever, now I’m about to WED but we seeing again)